Trouble in Treehut
by sequence of letters
Summary: Chapter 3 might take a little while, sorry. But for those who haven't read it yet, it's about Jack leaving his daily routine to go to a new town... Too bad it's full of homicidal psychos...
1. Chapter 1

TROUBLE IN TREEHUT

By Ben Buurman

_A/N: This story is based on the original AC but has elements of Wild world in it, just to let you know. Enjoy the fic, it is supposed to be funny, but the first few sentences introducing him to his house are a little slow, but please read on, it gets good!_

Rain awoke Jack from his dreams of the pie fairy. He looked out the window of his second story bedroom and stifled a groan. Rain again. He got out of his bed and looked around his room. He had previously had the cabin theme but had decided to go for the regal set, and was halfway through redecorating it. He had stripped the room bare of all but the remaining cabin wall, the common floor (he had already disposed of the cabin floor as a 'gift' to Boondox) and his old hammock, a tape deck, a remaining cabin clock and his only unpacked piece of Regal furniture as of yet- a regal lamp for light and warmth. He had started redecorating a month ago but had stopped two weeks ago and had no plans to continue. He trudged his feet along the ground and down the stairs into his main room, where he grabbed a cup of Pigeon Blend coffee from his coffee maker and sank into a classic couch. He turned on his Robo TV and groaned again- at the choice of shows. Cable in his town named Hyrule was getting worse. He had a choice of an encore presentation of _Up Late with Nibbles the Chipmunk_; _Love is Deaf_, a B movie from last year starring Tortimer as the bikini babe who everyone loves, or Nook's home shopping channel. No need to mention the other 56 channels, they scared the heck out of him. Looking at his kitschy clock, he concluded it was time to leave for another pointless day at work as Nook's go-to guy. Stepping out into the freezing rain, he walked down Acre D3 past the other two human houses. One belonged to a girl who was about his age, pretty damn attractive… They had a thing once, but had split up and now only met to talk awkwardly for a bit before drowning their sorrows in bubble tea. The other belonged to a hermit who only ventured out to scold Jack and also to add to his collection of empty tins. Today was one of those days he ventured out to scold Jack.

Jack walked in anger through the rain. How dare that idiot scold him about greenhouse gasses when everybody knew it was Anchovy who started his car, which ran on leaded petrol, and left it on until it ran out for kicks. He approached Nook's and was about to trudge in when he saw Able Sisters open. He walked in and approached the new design. It was like a computer keyboard. Mable walked up to him and asked "Oh yes, Tim from Treehut design…" But was cut shirt by Nook entering. Not noticing Jack crouching behind the pattern, Nook asked Sable where he was. Sable said only two words, as was her style. "Not here." Nook left, thinking of menial tasks to give to _. Sable said "_Jack, don't work for old man Nook the rest of your life. Go run to a better life. But don't let Nook catch you, you owe him big on the house!" Jack ran through the acres, passing many villagers. He ran into his house and grabbed his green golf bag. He hurriedly tipped the golf clubs out, and put in only what he needed, which was some food, a coffee machine, a retro TV and a dice stereo. He was doing this, when Nook burst through the door asking "Plant some flowers and BLOODY MAKE MY SHOP ALLURING!" Jack hid in the basement, chock full of office lockers and a ping pong table. He saw the tiny window and ran through it. He peered through his back window and saw Nook peering into a retro fridge looking for him. Jack ran through the town, passing Anchovy who was leading a conga line shouting "We love global warming! We love global warming! New ice age is coming! We love global warming!" Jack reached the train station and talked to Porter. Porter asked him "Where to?" Jack replied, desperately thinking of the last town name he heard. "Treehut!" He burst out. Porter pointed to a small, old, rusted train and Jack jumped on it. He didn't notice the smell of the old train, he did notice Nook waving at him angrily as the train grinded off, leaving a trail of gears and parts which fell off the back. Jack thought to himself "A new life awaits…"

_A/N: OK, Hoped you liked that chapter, and there is MORE TO COME! Please review!_


	2. Chapter 2 Arrival in Treehut

_A/N: Welcome to Chapter 2. If you are reading this it means somebody reviewed my story and people have supported it. Congratulations! This is a bit longer than chapter 1. _

Jack looked around the train and felt confused at the appearance of its interior. He had heard about Treehut a few years ago on the news and he was told it was a bustling hub for the south of the land. The train he was on really didn't look like it was the type of train that would be headed for a bustling hub for the south of the land. The train looked around thirty years old, and the cardboard boxes on the cracked windows spoke for themselves. There was a strange fungus growing in the corner. There were cupboards full of bags from years ago. The carpet was a rainbow of browns, but was probably white originally.

Jack sunk into the tattered leather seat and looked out the window at the hills and trees rolling past. There were only another three passengers with him; Bob the cat sniffing something out of a paper bag which made his face cloud over with joy. A few seats back, against the mildew encrusted back wall of the train, Sow Joan was lying there sleeping. And two seats up from him sat a strange man in a trenchcoat and a hockey mask laughing manically about something to do with 'the day of purification!' He looked around the train and began to feel sleepy. The last thing he noticed was the moths flying around the only working light on the ceiling as he fell into a deep sleep.

"Hey, Buddy. Wake up!" Jack awoke to see a train station. He was on the platform, with his green golf bag under him. The rusty train that had taken him to Treehut was long gone. He was surprised to see that there was only one other train in sight, and it was a freight train full of wool knit sweaters. In Hyrule there were at least fifteen trains at a time. He also noticed the train station was very dilapidated. He noticed a sign looming above him reading _TR EH T STA ION. _Most of the letters had fallen off."Hey, buddy, you OK?" asked the voice again. Jack looked up to see a blue and white eagle standing over him. "Hi, who are you?" Asked Jack. The eagle smiled, handed him a strange chocolate bar and replied "Nice to meetcha, Jack. Name's Pierce."

Jack and Pierce walked through Treehut. Even though that the Train Station was horribly dilapidated, the rest of Treehut looked like a perfectly normal town. The only other odd thing was that all the houses, even though they looked normal, sort of looked as if they had been broken up and put back together. Jack asked "Pierce, I heard that Treehut was a bustling hub, but it's deserted. What happened?" Pierce replied "It was, until global warming caused by some stupid brown bird made a huge tidal wave wash over the town and destroy everything. Most people left, but the ones who stayed went crazy and rebuilt their houses. But let me warn you, the people of this town are NUTS! Watch your step wherever you go…" Jack looked blankly at the eagle. "Wow, that sucks!" Is all he could muster up to reply with. His mind was too clogged to say anything more intelligent.

Jack and pierce walked past a row of wrecked houses until they came to an intact one. Pierce said with a slight laugh "This is casa de Pierce, come on in!" Jack stepped into the log cabin like house and looked around. Pierce had the illusion floor and wall with a regal dresser, regal bed, apple TV, retro stereo, billiard table, two ranch armchairs and a plant of some kind. The house looked very cosy, apart from a crack growing up one wall. Pierce noticed Jack looking at it and said "Flood damage." Those words reminded Jack of his predicament. He quickly shouted at Pierce "But how do I get out of this tow… wait a minute, if you're living here, that means YOU are crazy also!" Pierce seemed taken aback, and almost choked on Jack's words.

Pierce looked down at Jack, shocked by the allegation. "I'm not crazy!" He replied. "But the two guards at the town gate have a rule- No eagles." Pierce said sadly. Jack felt sorry for the bird. He then looked around the room. Pierce said to him "How would you like to help me get out of this dump?" Jack looked at Pierce and, his guilt clouding in, answered "Why not?" Pierce explained his plan involving a dinner fork, a catapult, some frozen peas and an old piece of gum chewed by Tortimer to Jack, and Jack was taken aback at the ingenuity of it. But the obstacle was obvious- They needed some cash. And from Pierce's smell, Jack could tell there wasn't a bell in his pockets. "If you pay off my mortgage, I will have money" Explained Pierce. Jack gulped. He knew what that meant. Working for Nook.

Pierce waved Jack goodbye in the morning with his packed lunch, backpack, emergency numbers and a kiss on the cheek. Jack was a little suspicious about the last part. Worse was when Pierce said "and if any big animals pick on you, tell the teacher." Jack began to wonder about Pierce's sanity. There was no teacher; he was working for Treehut's Nook. But Pierce explained that 'the teacher' was Blathers, who, like everyone else, was crazy and spent all day walking around where the museum was before it was destroyed in a graduation gown and pink bra. Jack trudged along the grass with ominous thoughts. "As if my Nook wasn't nuts enough… What will THIS Nook be like?" Jack slowly approached the Nookingtons. It looked the same as the one in Hyrule, but it had paint peeling off and weeds growing up the side. But worst of all, it had a car crashed into the top window with a skeleton in the front seat. Sighing heavily, Jack mustered up his courage and stepped through the shattered glass doors.

Inside the shop, the first floor was almost exactly like his own, but there were weeds and Shampoodle was boarded up. Nook approached him, and Jack almost had a laughing fit. He was your typical Nook, but he was dripping wet with a green Mohawk and had a water pipe stuck through his skull. He looked at Jack like he was a dead zombie roach. He yelled at him; "YOU ARE EARLY! GRAB ME MY MACHETTE!" Jack almost keeled over with fright. But then Nook's face softened and he said in a gravely voice "Go deliver this toaster with some egg stuck to it to Mable Sable… NOW!" He thrust a blender into Jack's arms and ran upstairs. Jack didn't want to argue that it wasn't a toaster, and it was peanut butter, not egg, but he ran away from the deranged racoon who was singing _It's Raining Men _at the top of his lungs and into the Able Sisters shop, which was empty. Suddenly a hedgehog walked in with a frying pan on her head. It was Mable. Jack gave her the 'toaster', and she looked blankly at him. Then she chased him with it all the way to the town gate, before giving up and joining a deranged looking Baabara who was wielding a hockey stick with a nail through it, in a 'happy dance.' Jack saw the gate and thought to himself "I know I made a promise to Pierce, but I'll die here! I gotta leave!" And pushing the guilt to the back of his head, Jack ran towards the entrance to the gate, which was rusty, with many bricks missing, covered in graffiti and mould, and sporting the town flag (a picture of Tortimer in a leotard fighting aliens), hoping to escape the horrible place.

_A/N: OK, maybe not long enough, but it had its moments IMO. Anyway, stay tuned for another hilarious (hopefully) instalment of this epic tale of Courage, Bravery and Deranged animals. Please Review and Chapter 3 will come quicker (Seriously.)_


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